Wednesday, March 14, 2007
转捩点
我累了。真的好累。
sometimes it really pays to be mean.
there was this article in the newspapers about a month back on "bitch courses" in russia -- women literally paying hundreds of dollars to learn (from a man, no less) how to be cold, mean, demanding -- which claim to ultimately enable a woman to snag any man she desires and have him worshipping the ground she walks upon. i also spied a book a week ago in mph at citylink: why men love bitches. seems to me like ice queens are the hottest babes in the town right now.
家? 家庭. 家人. 房屋. 空间. 空虚.
i despise any form of dependence. my last remaining form of dependence is financial dependence. i'm absolutely dying to finish my education and support myeslf completely.
i do not depend on anyone for anything else. as far as i can tell, my family needs me 10 times more than i need them. in most relationships, nothing is treasured till it is lost. this is the case. i cannot leave because i am not willing to give up my ccas, my fun time, my free time to work. i do not think i should have to. as i do not think i should have to put up with being trodden on, chewed up and spat out simply because of genetic bonds. bullying does not just happen in schools. bullies do not have to be older, bigger, smarter or stronger. they just have to be meaner. victims do not have to be small, weak, frightened or helpless. sometimes kindness and gentleness are the greatest weaknesses of all. sometimes tolerance and pacifism not only compound such situations, but breed them.
忍让? 仁爱? 礼仪?
when you are the only one abiding by morals and principles... it is really quite pointless. especially if after godknowshowlong nobody has been influenced. 耳濡目染 my ass. why would anyone want to make life a living hell for themselves? the most vocal, verbose, whatever, noisiest members of society are naturally those who haven't had to go through shit and don't know shit either. unfortunately those who do are very tolerant of their nonsensical comments and opinions because they all have more meaningful things to do then to refute them, and the clueless assume that what the ranting lunatics spew make up the unquestioned laws of nature and morality. thus we are brought up to assume that if there is a better, smarter, easier way to solve a problem we must not take it for that would be trying to escape our responsibility, neglecting our duties, being lazy, etc etc etc. the dumb make us dumber. all hail the era of technological progress and mental retardation. "your head gets smart but your brain gets dumb". we know so much and think so little.
how many of you know what lorum ipsum is? oh excellent i see some hands up. now, how many of you know what lorem ipsum means? nobody? i'll give you a clue it's actually meaningless cos some bright spark cut off the 'do' from "dolorem ipsum", besides massacreing the rest of the paragraph.
the bolded parts are those that survived, and you don't need to know latin to know that it pretty much won't make any sense at all.
"…neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum, quia dolor sit, amet, consectetur, adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt, ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam, nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur? Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit, qui in ea voluptate velit esse, quam nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum, qui dolorem eum fugiat, quo voluptas nulla pariatur?"H. Rackham's 1914 translation: "Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?"
i shall take a leaf of out cicero's book and stop pursuing this pain which gives me voluptas nulla. enough of shedding embedded sorrows. i have wept and bled enough tears and blood for blood's sake itself.
我受够了. 心疲了, 力尽了. 良心, 我们走吧.
des
3/14/2007 07:31:00 PM
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